I know I haven't posted my new art here for much time and I think I should do it soon. I'm thinking of using mixed media techniques in a new painting and use pill boxes and plastic toys on the canvas. I need to make something with a meaning, not something that just looks beautiful.

I don't care if my art looks beautiful. I just love it to be raw and full of meanings. My art never looked beautiful afterall. At least it makes people think.

These days are crazy. College starts in October and I have to give applications and arrange my new program. I don't know what I'll do with my activism. I found the African community of Athens and I'm thinking of joining an anti-racistic group with them. I've already talked about it with my close people and I have to say they're excited.

E. is probably going to join the activist groups too, I just hope she will find some time. When all of your friends work every morning, it's difficult to find some time for activities. 

On Saturday I'll see Patti Smith live. I'm going there with my great rock guitarist friend. Electralane's concert is coming in November. I'll be there.

I walked in the city, took the train and discovered neighbourhoods I had never seen before.

I saw the sad meat market

Broken windows, abandoned houses


And after all that, lines from John Lennon's "Imagine" carved on a stone


Sad and beautiful city drowning in decay.

Another photo from the demonstration:



The last words mean: "Fight for freedom"
But where is freedom these days?
There's not even freedom in our thoughts, we're all brainwashed by stupid TV shows
We're told what to do and think
How can we resist?

Besides that, I saw this film:



Go and see it if you haven't. I'm speechless.

We all went to protest for the fires dressed in black:

 



I decided to replace depression and sadness with anger. Anger is creative after all!

Tonight I'll return home late. I'm not doing anything special, but I just don't want to stay in.
I missed dressing up, I missed beer and putting on crazy makeup, I missed the nights!!
C. is returning to Athens tomorrow. And we're probably going out.

I want to plan my next trip, do you have any ideas??

Her name is Zooey and she was born a few days ago, right on the page of an old boring book:)
Show her some love, she's shy yet beautiful:)))

I think I'll join a digital photography seminar in September. Cameras, photoshop and all that stuff.
It will help me combine my paintings with photography, maybe I can do awesome works then.

I finally found the immigrants of Athens community on the net.
Wrote down their number and I'm going to call them after August.
Hope to volunteer for the groups of foreigners and refugees in Greece.

I feel I can do so many things, if only the summer would let me...

Everything is closed in August, the city is like dead, I can't stand it!
I have so much energy, I want to do so much, but everyone is on holidays
Even my friends.

But I'm feeling so creative and energetic, I think I have much to give if others let me!

Yay!! I'm seeing Patti Smith and Electrelane live soon!!
I adore Patti, she reminds me my early teenage years. 
Her album 'Easter" was the first one I ever bought.
I used to turn up the volume and sing loudly
I had much anger in these years, about everything.

Feeling a little bit of anger every now and then makes me creative.
I'm still a teenager, I'll never grow up! I refuse to enter the adult world, never!
I'm still emotional and hyper, unstable, with bad fashion and music tastes:))))



See how I am? Just refusing to find myself.

So I had a wonderful time at C's house. We have much fun like we do every summer. I can't believe that lessons start in a few weeks, my mind is still on holidays, cheap summer cocktails, conversations that last til 5 in the morning and beach fun! 

Although I've quit my first art school a couple of months ago, I decided to give a new try in another college, buy new brushes and paints, wear my mini jean overall school skirt and behave like a good art student.
Of course noone will know about my past as an art school drop out and my inability to listen to the rules and theory of colors and shapes. I see much fun coming from September:)

After coming home I realised that I have many art projects to complete, much work to do on unfinfished reconstructed clothes and letters to write. I need to stay at home for some days although in two weeks I'm leaving -again!- for the islands.


= the good summer times:))

(Sometimes I think that I lack of spirituality in my life. I've became too realistic and logical recently. I never wonder about anything mystical or supernatural like I used to do long ago. Never wonder and see things as they seem. Maybe it's just a phase.

If I were an art piece, I'd belong in the style of photorealism.)

I wish I could make art like this...

But for the moment I'm still working on my anarcho feminist collage series:



and taking self portraits all day...




***
I'm drinking strawberry juice in a wine glass, wearing cheap red lipstick and high heels
I've just tasted beer at Lotus!!!
And now I'm home and wandering around...
The TV is on, the Birthday Party songs are in full volume
(The Birthday Party is a no wave band, just in case)
and it's almost midnight

Should I make some crappy art? Should I finish the cheap plasctic necklace with the mushroom beads?
I'm hyper most of the time... Can't sleep at all! 
Art and beer and cheap red lipstick
And that's how the night will go on...

Amsterdam was marvelous, the same atmosphere as I remembered.
I met wonderful new people that I had not heard anything more than their names before.

Still, everything keeps living.
the septum pierced girls with their bicycles
the dreadlocked boys offering us beer and drops of free absinth
outside the tiny shops
the magikal feeling you have when you leave this bloody country I was meant to born in

I asked for renting a room, they said it's 400 Euros if I'm lucky
Well this is not an expensive city as I first thought
I can immigrate to Holland if I find friends there.

The only thing I need to find is new friendships and people to talk to.
Then I can move to any of my favorite European capitals forever.
and leave this place that only can hurt me anymore.

The magik:










If I came as a stranger to your city would you visit me and keep me some company at all?

Goodbye Maiko...

The wall painting is gone. My living room wall looks like this now:

I'm flying in less than 24 hours. E. is staying in my home tonight so we can leave together tomorrow.
I wonder if Amsterdam has changed at all in these 4 years!

I'll wander around Waterlooplein all day, discovering treasures in the small shops.
We'll meet M. when we arrive there. Anybody help me with my spoken English??!
His girlfriend will leave for Ethiopia a day after we'll arrive.

The three of us will visit the cafes there, try Dutch beer and get lost in the city.
"In the cafe chair she will once more turn into oxygen and hydrogen."

Got to paint my nails black and call E.
See you later, lovelies:)

Live Free!

40 C degrees... No going out for me tonight... That's really strange...
At home, watching Requiem for a Dream on TV (at last, this stupid box played a good film)
It's one of my favorites ever, it makes me cry and identify with the characters so much... Even more than Trainspotting.
I remember when I was unsure about this relationship... That he won't like many things in me, mostly from the past...
I was unsure even if I could wait for him when he'll be away.
But this lasted only for the first days.
150 days to happiness, but how many left for sadness?
I can't stop reading Virginie Despendes... I adore her so much. And all these lovely people, Bukowski, Limonov, Sophie Calle, Ippolita Avalli...
They always keep me company whenever I'm alone. And I thank them for that.



Recommend a film to me...Or a book... Or a song...Something to make me think, something about life experiences, junkies, night... or just something from your favorites:)

I started my personal artworks on human trafficking. It's going to be a series of collages and photography / digital works, a personal cry, a personal protest. Maybe I'll post them here, maybe some selected people will see it.  The time and the inspiration will show.

Walked in the city again... This time it was almost frightening. No, I'm not afraid of the night and darkness. I fear the day, the sunlight, the feelings and stares you can't hide.
I never learnt to be one with it. I'm only able to be one with the darkness every night, I could never feel comfortable in the day. 
I fear the clearness of things, I fear the people going to their day jobs, the normality, the conservativity of the day-people. 
I prefer the mystery, the danger, the silence, the neon lights, the beautiful freaks that leave their houses only at night time. It's more interesting. Far more interesting.



"I fall from my wings and my courage fails me
when I think of you as my salvation."

Love from M. the insomniac

We walked in a hot and crowded Athens, but we were calm and cool inside us.

We saw a tiny shop with small beauties:



Clothes hanging out of the shops making the street colorful:



Bad paintings of Greek islands looking all the same with each other:



Posters of the CocoRosie concert:



I want to start painting again. It's a long time since I last painted. I still have an unfinished canvas. I started painting something on it a few months ago. It was something sad yet beautiful, dark yet cute. Then I wanted to paint something inspired by my favorite Riot Grrl lyrics. Or something inspired by the art of Barbara Kruger or Nan Goldin.

I adore the art of Nan Goldin... I really need some more art in my apartment. I have a huuuge black and white photo of New York on a black wall in my living room and a 'Dizzy Love' Tama print on another wall.

I long for Amsterdam... I long for freedom and diversity! And I'm leaving on the 24th!

I'll call Terje and ask him if we can meet while I'm in Amsterdam. I've met him while I was in Denmark last summer. He has the cutest dogs in the world! Although they were aloof and snobbish when I visit Terje's home!

But we all are like that sometimes, aren't we?

"our fear is a scrap of paper found in a pocket"
-Zbigniew Herbert 

What do you do to fight your fears and phobias?

Sometimes I don't fear anything. But there are times I feel weak too. The difference is that I never show my weakness to others. I wait til I feel strong again and then I can go out and start represent myself to the world.  

My love D. and my friends, my crazy music, art...all these beautiful things make me feel alive! 

Here are some recent creations:

The fist of the anarcho-feminist collage series:


The Angel Or Devil collage:



..and some mail art too:






We took a long walk in Athens, Plakas and Monastiraki and took some photos. I promise to post soon.
I bought some cultural items for my foreign friends, like souvenirs, postcards, dolls... 
The post officer is surprised to see my envelopes each time...She says she hasn't seen again colorful envelopes!
Is the Mail Art dead in Greece? I don't know...

And something inspired from my friend's blog..(you know who you are dear:)

Small treasures from my home:



Live free because Freedom is beautiful!!

So, I'm back:) Decided to take a break, be in silence for a while, but I'm finally back.
I hope I can keep this journal for longer than the other one... 
Sometimes it's my terrible mood changes, sometimes my ups and downs, that don't let me keep something for long. The only thing I can keep near me is the communication with you, wonderful people!
I hope I can make a new start here and get to know better all of you.
What have you been doing? I've been to concerts, theatrical presentations, art shows... 
Athens summer holidays, in general:)

The concerts of June:
<3 Placebo
<3 Dolores O'Riordan from the Cranberries
<3 Ayo
<3 Cocorosie
<3 Mary and the Boy

Unfortunately, they didn't let me take pictures of all of them....Here are some I finally took:

1. Cocorosie:



2. The Beatboxer:))



3. the audience, anxiously waiting:)



4. Mary and the Boy:



Exept for all this music-loving fun, I decided to keep all the negatives for the past and move on. 
So, this will be a journal for my new start and I do love new starts, don't you?!
There's no need to keep problems on your mind or argue all the time. 

I was really, really undecided about my holidays this summer. 
First I said about going to St.Petersburg, then to Beijing... Nothing worked out because my friend had different ideas.
I booked flights for Amsterdam. I'm ready to live its freedom and fun atmosphere again!
I'll meet some nice people there: a guy from Egypt, his wife from Ethiopia and another friend from Bangladesh.
I don't know them yet personally, but my travel mate will introduce me to them:)
Ah, I can't wait:)))

Before the Amsterdam fun, there will be more visits on Greek islands, more art shows, 
more concerts, more letter writing...

(I also won't forget to live free...)